A couple of weeks ago I was looking for an easy read, something light and breezy to read while feeding Costner. I chose a Jane Green novel. It started off great, describing the differing lives of the main characters and then I was smacked in the face with emotion. One of the main characters had a reoccurrence of breast cancer, a type that only gave her a year to live. Callie was struck with fear and sadness not that her time on earth was ending but that she was leaving her children, husband and family. As I read this, I began to cry and I couldn't stop. Thankfully Costner was napping so I could just sit on my couch and let the tears fall. I wasn't crying for myself or the fact that the story reminded me of loosing my own mother but I was crying because now I understood how my mother must have felt in those final months. Now, having a beautiful little boy and the overwhelming love I have for him, I understand how terrifying it must have been for my mother. Knowing that she wouldn't be there to help navigate my brother and I through life, to see our milestones, comfort us through difficulties and to see her grandson born. It's ironic that a book helped me connect with my mom on a much deeper level then I ever thought possible. This book made me stop thinking about myself and what I missed out on but allowed me to truly feel blessed for the opportunity I have to experience every day with Costner and the joy of being his mom.
On a side note, Costner is awesome! He is like fine wine....he gets better with time! He is such a happy little baby, doesn't fuss very often, goes down for naps perfectly, goes to bed without a fight and sleeps like a champ. This boy loves to sleep. I have to tell myself to not wake him because I am bored and want to hang out with him. We are working on him sitting up. He has rolled over a few times but not again, I think he did it just show me he can and now he's done with it. :) Costner is determined to crawl, he lifts his butt in the air, puts his face down and scoots his way forward. I've tried to show him how to use his arms but he'll have none of it. He wants to do it his way....he'll learn. :) I love my little man.
Here are a few pictures.....
