Postpartum Friends

Something happened when Costner hit 3 months old, I started to feel alone.  Funny thing to say, right?  Around 3 months Costner started to be more expressive, interactive with me which was such a delight but he also became a little more self-reliant.  He started to entertain himself, take longer naps and his witching hour all but disappeared, Costner no longer needs Mom to constantly soothe him.  He became a relatively easy, happy and fun baby.  It does not take as much energy to care for him, time....yes!  He still encompasses much of my time but I don't feel as drained at the end of day.  I am a much more confidant mom now.  I know his signs, I know what makes him happy, when he is getting sleepy, when it is time to eat and what to do when, heaven forbid, he starts to wail.   As fullfilling as it is to spend my days with my little man, it can be a very solitary life.  The first three months of motherhood I spent most of my time just trying to figure it out and that took up most of my time but now I have a handle on it I am ready to get out and mingle with other people....women to be specific.

That is where the problem lies......as much as I wish my girlfriends and I had sat around and decided "Let's all try to get pregnant, so we could go thru motherhood together" that didn't happen.  Justin and I were not even trying to get pregnant, who knew I would be so fertile.  So here I am, the one of the first among my friends to have a child, looking for someone to go on a hike with or out to lunch.  Someone to have an adult conversation with on occasion.  When you have a baby your life inevitably changes, my day revolves around nap and food schedules.  Justin and I try to take Costner everywhere we go but late night dinners with friends (unless it's at our house) are fleeting.

I knew that some of my friendships would change when Costner was born and I thought many of them would drift apart.  I was right some did but surprisingly the majority of my friendships with my girlfriends (specifically my fellow book clubbers) have grown stronger.  They may not have children of their own (yet!) but they are so supportive, caring and understanding and most of all...they love Costner!  They want to be around him and here about what new shenanigans he is up to.  And I love all of my friends for that.

I am a lucky woman....I have a wonderful husband, adorable baby, fantastic home and great friends!

Costner and his Jet Bear