Today my beautiful little girl is six months old, and as I sit at my desk reflecting on how amazing and chaotic the last six months have been I notice a card that has been sitting here for some time waiting to be sent. It is a "thank you" card that I have been meaning to give to Emily for weeks and months since Audie was born. Who is Emily and why haven't I sent the card to her? For one, I have not written in the card yet, I'd say I haven't had the time with how hectic my life has been with three little ones but the truth is I haven't wanted to truly replay Audie's birth. I haven't wanted to relive all of the raw emotions that go with that day six months ago and the weeks proceeding. But Emily deserves a "thank you" she deserves more than that...if only I could show my immense gratitude for everything she has done for me and my family.
So, who is Emily? Emily is my husband's youngest sister. She is the Aunt and Godmother to my children. She is my best friend, my sister, my therapist, my doula....my rock. Emily is an unbelievable friend to so many, she is strong, caring, patient, pragmatic, loving, sensitive, to name a few qualities. All of the qualities I love and admire in Justin can also be found in Emily. Five years ago as I was preparing to give birth to Costner I turned to her and asked her to stay with me, to be there by my side as I brought the first light of my life into the world. And thank god she did because Costner did not make the easiest entry. But through it all she never let go of my hand, she helped me get to the other side. I think we could both say that Costner's birth brought us closer and not just because she saw more than she bargained for of me that day. We had a bond...she saw her nephew brought into this world and she had a big hand in that success. Without question she has been by my side thru everything, two post delivery D&Cs, a frightening miscarriage, Loren's remarkably easy birth and then there was the arrival of Audie.
When I found out I was pregnant with Audie, Emily was three months pregnant, I remember having a conversation with her about as much as I wanted her to be there for my delivery I understood the complexities of that happening with her having a new baby. But without giving a moment's pause she said of course she would be there..."we'll figure it out!" Fast forward to August 24th and there she was at 8am, coffee and breast pump in hand, ready to welcome my little baby into the world. Emily knew I was uneasy about this birth, I didn't like that I was being forced into an induction. She knew I felt that something was off, as if I knew this birth wasn't going to go as planned. Instead of giving me false hope, she reassured me that I was a strong person and "we" would get thru it together. And that we did...she never left my side. She cheered and cried with me as Audie entered the world and in those frightening minutes proceeding, as I laid there while my doctor and nurses tried desperately to stop me from bleeding out, she never left me. I am tearing up just thinking of that moment. Emily held my hand, locked eyes with me as if to say..."I've got you!" and did not let go until the double doors into the surgery room would not let her go any further. The last thing I remember saying to her was "take care of my kids" and with tears in her eyes she said "I will!" I knew deep down I wasn't going to die, my mom wasn't going to let that happen but it was comforting to know that the most incredible woman I know would take care of my children. Emily is truly an amazing person, she pressed pause on her life for a week to take care of me. Making sure she was by my side when I woke up in the ICU to find that my husband and daughter were gone, driving me to Denver to see Audie and Justin and taking the time to walk me thru everything that had happen so I could try to understand.
To Emily:
Words can not express my eternal gratitude for who you are and what you have done for me. Your ever constant love and support will never be lost on me. All that I can offer you other than my heartfelt thank you is my pledge to you that you will always have my love and support and that Wren and future children will be forever loved, protected and cared for by me, Justin and the boys.
With Love,
Whitney
