A Bradshaw Way of Life: Bradshaw Party of Four? Bradshaw Party of Four?

Back in December Justin broached the subject of having baby #2, I looked at him like he was crazy. Was he serious? At the time we had a very active 10 month old who kept (still does) me oh-so busy, having another child wasn't even in my realm of thought. I was thinking more of trying conceive a baby in the fall and therefor having a summer baby. Costner would be two and half and in my mind a perfect age difference. Justin had a different idea in mind, he would have preferred irish twins. Me...not so much! The thought of being pregnant again for nine months and subsequently pushing out a baby just didn't appeal to me. I don't know if it was my desire to please my husband or my underlying desire to expand our family but the prospect of having another baby slowly crept into my mind over the next month.

In January I decided to go off birth control, give my body a month to back on track, start taking prenatal vitamins and come February try to get back on the baby train. February flew by....with Justin and I both being out of town a good portion of the month concieving a baby was just not possible. I looked to March for our month to really give baby making a try. By the second week in March it donned on me that I had yet to get my "monthly bill"....I went to my bathroom a pulled out a pregnancy test thinking there is no way I could actually be pregnant. As Costner took a bath I took the pregnancy test. I looked at the test in shock....there was a solid cross. This just can't be....there was a possible two days in the month of February that we could have conceived a baby. Not believing in the result, I grabbed the second pregnancy test out of the medicine cabinet and took that one. Same result! Holy Cow!! I called Justin and broke the news. He was driving home from Denver with his brother so his response was muted so to not reveal what was going on but the subsequent text messages were full of bewilderment and excitement. When he got home I ran out to the grocery store to get the more definitive pregnancy test that would say "pregnant" or "not pregnant" actually I bought two. My definitive answer on both was "pregnant". I looked at Justin with amazement in my eyes. I guess we were heading for another adventure yet again.

The next day, I spoke to my sister-in-law, friend, confidant Emily who coincidently is my OBGYN's medical assistant, Emily asked me if I was excited, shocked, nervous, uneasy, etc? My answer was "shocked and uneasy". Her response was one of understanding. Understanding that my shock and uneasiness was not because I did not want another child but more so that Costner was no longer going to be the little person in my life...no longer my little baby. That made me sad. I love Costner so much and he is my amazing little man. He may drive me nuts sometimes (especially when throws little fits) but as quickly as he makes me want to pull my hair out, he can make my heart melt. Those fits secretly make me want to laugh but I would never let him see that. And I'm not going to lie...I get overwhelmed with just one child at times I can't imagine what two children are going to do to me. Can I really handle a baby and a toddler? That frightens me. There is going to be a new treasure trove of situations and challenges. And what if the next baby is not as good as Costner was/is? But I think...was I really ready for what came with Costner? Nope! You learn as you go and that is how this next chapter in my life is going to go. I am excited but nervous...of course.

I am 12 weeks and all seems to be going well. Thank goodness there was no morning sickness but I have been very tired and hungry. When I say hungry...I mean starving! And the line of thought that you show sooner with your second is completely true. I look like I am 20 weeks pregnant. Oh well...it is what it is.

Costner is doing great! He got into a fight with the sidewalk the other day which left him pretty scratched up but mom's constant ointment applications helped a lot. He's been having a tough with bedtime lately, the other night being the worst. Monday morning he woke early, screaming, pulling on his ear and I worried he may have an ear infection. Seeing that we were leaving on vacation this week I decided to take Costner in to get him checked out. While there I asked our nurse if she would measure him curious to see how tall he was and much to my surprise Dr. Engle said he had grown three inches in the past two and half months. I was shocked. Then she took a look at his ears and throat and both look great, Dr. Engle said he was probably going thru a growth spurt. Was she serious, a growth spurt? How much taller could this kid get?